Communicating with Parents and Caregivers

Over the past few years, we’ve worked with various state agencies and human services nonprofits on a range of projects designed to help parents and caregivers. Our focus has been on helping them access resources and information about early childhood development and wellbeing, including children’s behavioral health.

Across these efforts, one lesson has stood out: communication must be parent centered. This is critical, given the diversity of parents’ lived experiences, which are shaped by factors such as race, ethnicity, income, education, and their own behavioral health histories.

The challenge

Many parents, relatives, and caregivers feel lost when it comes to children’s behavioral health. They don’t know when to seek help, or where to turn — and they often feel blamed, shamed, or left to navigate a complex system on their own. While many local services exist, they are usually fragmented and difficult to access. There is also some stigma and fear attached to accessing services. Families need more than information; they need a trusted guide and ally.

Key insights from our work

Our work communicating with parents and caregivers always begins with listening. This is some of what we heard from families when discussing children’s behavioral health.

• Parents and caregivers are a diverse, complex audience. Those seeking help come from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds, educational levels, and cultures. Many are also coping with their own behavioral health challenges, all of which impact how and when they seek care for their children.
• Access and engagement are strongly tied to socioeconomic status and education level. Entry points into care typically include early intervention programs (especially in adoption contexts), pediatricians, teachers and school staff, and hospital emergency departments during times of crisis.
• Some parents are open to help. Others are not, often due to cultural beliefs that stigmatize mental health issues. In some communities, seeking help is viewed as a form of charity or as airing private matters. Some adults live in complex households and are reluctant to engage services. One parent told us, “What happens in the home stays in the home.”
• Language matters. Terms like “system,” “mental health,” or “behavioral health” can feel unfamiliar or distancing to parents. They want information that feels relatable, useful, and grounded in everyday life. As one parent put it, “Bring it home.” For parents who speak English as a second language, the challenge is even greater. Resources may not be available in their native language, and key terms often don’t translate well.
• Awareness is low. Most parents are unsure what signs to look for, what types of help are available, or what the different roles are — from social workers to therapists to counselors.

Messaging guidance from parents

While it’s sometimes necessary to use some of the terms below to explain a child’s experience, this guidance is meant to help you consider how parents and caregivers might receive your words.

Our research shows that parents consistently value simplicity, compassion, and non-stigmatizing language. Many expressed frustrations with clinical or diagnostic labels that felt harsh or dehumanizing. Terms like “behavioral health” and “mental health” were seen as loaded or shaming. Several parents shared alternative language they preferred, such as “my child is struggling with anxiety” or “my child is overcoming symptoms of PTSD.” These phrases feel more human, more hopeful, and less judgmental.

The word “behavior,” in particular, was a flashpoint. Parents noted that it often implies willful misbehavior rather than a health challenge. As one parent explained, “’Behavior’ makes it sound like a bad attitude, like it’s something they’re choosing to do.” Another added, “He’s not a behavior problem. He’s a child experiencing a problem.” The takeaway is clear: messaging should focus on support and understanding, not on blame or correction.

Parents also urged communicators to avoid messages that could be interpreted as shaming or moralizing, and to instead offer hopeful pathways to connection and support. They responded positively to phrasing like, “Would you like to connect with other parents?” and “What you don’t know, you can find here in simple, easy steps.” Above all, they want to feel like they’re not alone.

Messaging guidance from professionals

Professionals interviewed during our research echoed many of the same themes, especially the need to strip away jargon and speak in plain, relatable terms. They stressed that messaging should never feel punitive when communicating with parents. As one professional put it, “You need to ask the right questions in a way that feels like support, not punishment.” The emphasis should be on empathy, connection, and reassurance.

To better engage parents, professionals recommended using short, digestible pieces of information delivering key messages in simple, bite-sized ways. They also encouraged messaging that fosters a sense of community: “You’re not alone. We’re all in it to help each other.” Whether from professionals or peers, the tone that resonates most is one of encouragement, partnership, and shared purpose.

Be an ally

Many parents and caregivers find themselves needing to help a child or children with a wide range of struggles and challenges. It can be scary and overwhelming. Using the system can be confusing, time-consuming, and frustrating. Hopefully, the insights we’ve provided will be helpful in your efforts to communicate with parents and families and provide reassurance about complex issues.